What would Karla say? Advice from a dog's point of view

What would Karla say? Advice from a dog's point of view

Words and pictures provided by Karla and her ma.

Archie is seeking out some advice he could give to his ma to help her cope with the stresses of being a hooman. He has decided to call upon his trusty friend and fellow snoot, Karla (@karlzthegreyt) because her ma knows a thing or two about taking care of those big feels. Read on for the words of wisdom Karla imparts on to Archie for him to relay to Cecilia when things get ruff. 

Friends, as you all know, sMother is a VIP (a Very Incompetent Psychologist). Unfortunately, because of laziness COVID, she’s worked from home for a good many more days than I would have liked (one’s company, two’s a crowd) and I’ve had the horror pleasure of listening to many of her sessions. While I usually sleep through them, her grating voice sometimes wakes me up, and I am forced to listen. I’ve learnt a lot about mental health, and also about how annoying it is for parents when you lick your anus for an hour while staring fixedly at them, but they can’t do anything about it because they are on a Zoom call.

Here are my top tips for mental health.

Talk about your feelings, a lot.

Widely, vociferously, and loudly. If you are lucky, someone will say ‘OH BIG FEELING, tell me more, darling’; and then you can tell them more. Social connection is important. At other times, someone might wave an arm at you and say something like ‘shut up Karla, I’m trying to concentrate’. That’s when you glare at them and ramp it up by becoming more high-pitched and persistent, until people have no choice but to help you attend to your feelings. Do this at least four times a day for maximum results.

Karla the black greyhound being vocal about her feelings, next to a stack of her ma's book titled Reclaim.


Shake that booty.

Moving your body is one of the best ways of releasing stress and managing mood. Exercise releases endorphins, and helps you feel strong and healthy. I like shaking my booty and doing zoomies on a freshly laundered bed. Ma likes walking, yoga and re-making beds. My downward dog kicks her downward dog to the curb. She says it isn’t a competition, but we all know that’s only because she’s losing. 

Karla shows us how to shake that booty by stretching off the bed, with her buns in full view.

Treat yoself’ babe.

Life is hard, and sometimes we need a bit of something something to help us get on with life. No, not that sort of something something (keep it legal, frenz). Having something to look forward to fires up dopamine receptors in the brain (such as a nice piece of Ma’s triple cream truffle brie).

Karla sampling a decadent three-tier cake. Yummy!


Get your zzzzs in.

Self-explanatory. I recommend at least 20 hours a day. No, you should never be too busy to rest. However, humans need less sleep and I like to remember that it’s my job to ensure my human maintains a basic level of activity. I like to do this by looking in at her hourly or so and squeaking if it looks like she’s having a midday nappo. She says nothing wakes her up quicker than a high-pitched squeak (except the sound of a hound gagging).

Karla is sleeping on a big brown couch, butt to butt with her beloved, a fellow black greyhound.

Address your inner critic.

I could say to myself, ‘well Karla, you have a flabby bald bum, eight nipples, and neck rolls’, or I could say ‘BEYONCE HAS NOTHING ON YOU’ (especially the # of nipples). Your inner critic will always find something to pick on, much like a prookly cat. No one needs that. Go find your inner Labrador instead (they are very dumb, but very loving and happy).

Karla showing us her perfect teeth


Don’t overcomplicate life.

Humans seem to worry a lot. Ma says that not everyone has the luxury of being #rescuednotretired and that humans need to pay rent and mortgages, unlike greyhound freeloaders (I’m incensed), and have bigger brains than hounds so worry more (SIZE ISN’T EVERYTHING FRENZ, IT’S WHAT YOU DO WITH IT THAT COUNTS). Humans probably overcomplicate things for themselves. Fancy cars, new things, vacations, the meaning of life? No one needs these things. A snooze, a meal, a walk, and a cuddle with someone you love (not you, Ma, I mean Lenny) — these are the really meaningful things. Keeping an eye on what’s essential and letting go of the rest helps.

Xoxo Karla (lightly edited by Ma)

(NB this is not clinical advice)

Looking for more words of wisdom from your dog? Order your very own affirmation card pack! Pre-orders are currently open at 10% off RRP until July 31, with a portion of proceeds donated towards Sophie's Legacy. Grab your deck and start your days with positive words from our furry friends to keep you smiling 🐾

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